Oh lordy, lordy, lordy, kids… I had a metric BOATLOAD to write here. You have NO IDEA. The source pool was literally the size of Tetsuo at the end of Akira.
But seriously I had a whole philosophical/science-y post lined up. I had a “reconciliation” post lined up (and written)… and then California went and was awesome today. See I know I post a ton of stuff about sexuality and “coming out” and what have you but this is different. I grew up simply accepting that I wasn’t allowed to marry the man I loved, if and when the time came to think about that. It was really just something I approached as, “well, it’s life. Whatever.” Then Iowa’s Supreme Court went and ruled in favor of legalizing Gay and Lesbian unions… while I lived here. Talk about a weirdly awesome day, that happened on my birthday (I think… I can remember the text from the person I was seeing having to do with both “Happy Birthday” and “Go get married” [in hindsight, “Let’s get married” would have been a good sign… that… not so much]). That was cool and all but I remember more being in a state of shock about the whole thing. Today, I had the exact opposite reaction. I sat on facebook on my iPod, scrolling through news stories and status updates, listening to the Dark Knight soundtrack, and reading an X-Men comic (yes I know… Marvel/DC blending… my bad)… and then all of a sudden it was like “BOOM” and Prop 8 had been deemed unconstitutional by yet ANOTHER court. There’s still one left but at that point, I really could do little more than tear up and think how ridiculous it must look to see this lanky, tall, Scots boy wearing a plaid shirt that looked more like a drag queen vomitted all over it than.. well… yeah… it looked like that… who was sitting at a table in the mall reading a comic and holding back tears. See, there are times when you just know there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with you, despite what people tell you. People still say I’m going to hell, that I shouldn’t be allowed to get married and have equal rights under the law as straight people, and that I am a “scorn of society” or whatever… today was reaffirmation of what I have known, in my heart, to be true. It was another step in people saying, “Hey, let’s not be dicks.” It felt fucking GOOD!
So there’s this fundamental thing about being um… well about Loving someone. I don’t really understand it but holy shit my life would be SO easy if I did. You love your friends, your family, your pets… that’s all one type of love. Then, you get to Love… and there’s a whole lot that goes into it. Sex is something that, on a fundamental and almost so basic it is animalistic and instinctual level, feels good. We are designed to interpret the stimulation of our organs used in “procreation” NOT ONLY as a way to further our species by said procreation, but to improve our individual well being. It covers both species procreational urges AS WELL as the impact on our personal psyche… which, whether right or wrong (bring yo shit, Darwin), is more important. Sex is not necessarily Love HOWEVER Love does involve sharing the act of sex. We’ll touch on that later so don’t worry, you won’t miss it.
But first, a bit on the sex. Scientifically speaking, there are a TON of ways to stimulate the correct nerve clusters and cause pleasure that is considered “sexual” in nature. This stimulation is not contingent on sexual orientation. Orientation has more to do with the emotional and psychological side of things than it does the cold, hard (giggity), act of stimulating nerve endings. Herein lies part of my problem with anyone who doesn’t believe ALL HUMANS should be treated equally.
There’s something more about Love. There’s something ethereal and almost mystical about Love and who we Love and share our Love with. Love exists almost as an evolution of our quest for companionship. Religious beliefs aside (I don’t argue with Religion or Faith… they are important yet completely intangible), how can anyone DENY another recognition of said quest for companionship? Screw the whole equal rights under the law thing because when someone tells me my love of a man is not actually recognized, they make attempt to make me un-human. Last time I checked, I have one heart, not two… and even the man with two hearts still registers on an emotional level as human.
The quest and desire for companionship is as innately human as the ability to feel physical and emotional pain. It fulfills a sense of “pleasure” in a very Hobbes-ian sense in that the lack of companionship is manifest as a type of pain – Loneliness. Saying that the companionship I seek out is wrong and thus treating me like I am inhuman relegates me to being a creature of burden, filling a place in the world and contributing to society while only being allowed to ever know pain. That is FUCKING WRONG. I would almost go so far as to say that those who desire that life for others are far less human than I am. Condemning someone for who they love is to attempt to force them into only knowing pain.
SO MANY PEOPLE are afraid of who they are. Gay, Lesbian, Bi, or any of the other myriad of orientations that exist. They have– WE have lived in fear of ourselves and fear of who we are in society because of attitudes like those of the people supporting Prop 8. Accepting a future without the possibility of having your companionship and Love acknowledged kills a piece of who you are and try as you might, it makes you less “alive” or less Human.
Now for the sex. Everyone makes such a big deal about what goes on behind the closed bedroom doors of homosexual couples… guess what, it’s none of anyone else’s business. The act of sex in a committed relationship is intimate, personal, and an experience of truly opening up to one another and thus is a necessary part of a healthy relationship. I don’t see a GOP representative standing in my doorway when I have sex (… not that often to begin with but let’s be honest… Nothing could kill a boner faster than GOP people) and probably wouldn’t find it too kinky if that happened. Basically, stay out of my bedroom.
In conclusion, how about this: instead of worrying about how two women embracing as a couple or two men holding hands could “DESTROY OUR HOLY AMERICAN OF JESUSLAND” way of life, you just choose to see the thing you have in common with us; the capacity for Love. How about instead of freaking out and shielding your kid’s eyes to things like that, you teach them to celebrate our ability as a species to make companions with such close emotional bonds?
How about you just fucking let us get married already? Sound good? Guess what, change is coming. It will happen and I cannot WAIT to bust out the McNeil Kilt and Tux for my wedding… Just like my hero…
Yes, this would not be a Justin on Gay Rights post without Mr. Barrowman… this time, with his partner and his dog. I love these men and what they mean to me as gay men and a symbol of our future.
Love who you are gonna Love and don’t ever worry about yourself or how others view you. Change is coming and it is coming fast.
Until next time,
See ya, Space Cowboy.