X-Men is Awesome… Then there’s the DC Sexboot

Oh hey!  I have this blog thing that I have neglected for, oh, the past few WEEKS.  Imagine that.  I know you’re all running around like chicken with your head’s cut off in search of anything to entertain you… (ok, really now, you’re all like that in my mind but I know that in reality it’s more like “Who the fuck is this guy and why the hell am I here?”)

So yeah this is a blog and I’m making a blog post.  To be honest, school is kicking my ass right now and taking any semblance of a life HOWEVER… there are still benefits to be had from this.  I’ve had PLENTY of time to think about random stuff, new projects, movies, music, pop culture, AND I’ve been perusing the interwebs for amusing .gifs and memes and what have you.  I’ve also had plenty of time to geek out and think (though the latter makes my head hurt quite a bit…).

Not only have I rediscovered all that wonderful rock and punk I listened to WAYYYYY back when (so… 5th grade through 7th or 8th) but I have also rekindled the fire with X-Men (really, comics in general but X-Men is a favorite of mine).  So yes, there’s new nerd material to post!  Get excited.

He's pretty much hilarious and awesome.

*Die-hard fans of the comics, please bare with me on this one.*

“Mutation: it is the key to our evolution. It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet. This process is slow, and normally taking thousands and thousands of years. But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward.”  (Professor Charles Xavier, X Men)

Yes, that’s a quote from the movie.  I know, I know…  The movies, at least the original trilogy, have not exactly made many people happy but still, there are good bits in everything.  I’ve always appreciated and enjoyed the simple fact that X Men (and many “mutant” stories in pop culture) are all about embracing differences.  Hell, even SpongeBob has an episode about being unique vs. being “normal” so while this concept is not contained to comics or X Men, there is a very special wrinkle in X Men.  The story centers on “society’s rejects” who also happen to save the world.

Now, keep in mind here, when I say “Different” or “Special” or “Unique,” I do NOT mean this:

I enjoy this .gif WAYYYY too much.

Side note to the members of Jersey Shore, exposing yourself to radiation doesn’t REALLY give you super powers.  It gives you cancer.  Get help.

But yes, back to being different.  Back in the sixties, the type of struggle represented through the plight of characters in the Marvel Universe (Specifically the Mutants) reflected the struggle for racial equality.  Today, without changing anything in the formula, X Men can now serve as a banner for the gay community.  Being genetically different and outcast by a society that doesn’t understand you and struggling just to be treated the same… yup… pretty much.

I promised myself that I wouldn’t center on the whole “Mutants as a metaphor for gay rights” because, really, it isn’t.  The concept is a metaphor for any person being mistreated because they are somehow deemed different.  It can be APPLIED to specific instances but at face value, it is quite expansive.   That’s exactly the beauty of it.  A concept so simple and so inherently human that we have all felt it at some point that suddenly becomes a lightning rod for GENERATIONS of social reform.  Utterly brilliant.  I’m going to admit to a massive amount of penis envy on this one.  If anyone really needed to know why I like X Men, this would be a huge light up marquee sign letting you know you’ve arrived at the reason.

So now we’ve established that I’m a comic book fan (and that my book of choice is X Men)… or wait… you need one more reason?  Fiiiiinnnne… here:

One of my all time favorite pictures from the past 4 years. And I'm the guy with the trombone on the left (gold/yellow shirt). We were on our way to Beer Band and suddenly, this happened. KAPOW!!!!!!

So yes, I like comic books.  The big question I do have to ask is WHY must everything be so overtly sexualized?  We get it.  Comic book artists like big boobs and skimpy clothes.  Honestly, I’m fine with that.  Wonder Woman is a GREAT example.  She’s smoking hot and saves the world.  Awesome.  Where can I meet the male equivalent of her?  I guess what I am trying to say is that there is a definitive difference between being useful and being “useless boobs.”  DC Comic recently rebooted 52 different books/stories and for the most part, they’ve been in the good to excellent range.  As with all things though, there are a few misfires.  To those familiar with Teen Titans, the character Starfire has grown up and… well… she doesn’t exactly uh… DO anything… unless her power suddenly switched from absorbing ultraviolet energy and fire it out as “Starbolts” into “conjuring boners in most heterosexual males.”  Yes, tight spandex is a staple of the comic universe of superheroes… but really?

Yes that's nice... but what is it you actually DO again?

Along with this, DC has also reminded us that Catwoman is a skank.  Thanks.  Kinda got that guys.  She is quite slutty and… oh what’s that?  You don’t think I get it?  I’m pretty sure I do….


Gee, thanks guys… needed that.  Le sigh…

Now, DC’s statement on the matter is “Don’t let your kids read our books for adults/don’t read the book if you’re offended.”  Under most circumstances, I would agree with them.  People have the right to write, draw, and publish what they want at the same time that people have the right to buy or not buy certain books.  I guess my problem is the simple fact that we’re totally desensitizing ourselves to sex.  The concept of sex sells, while still holding true, isn’t necessary for an industry keystone like DC.  What is the intent behind this?  Do we want Daffy Duck sitting at home with his newest edition of Catwoman on his lap, going to town?

You can't tell me you didn't expect me to have a .gif of this...

Have comic books become little more than a replacement for the sock and are now glossy print splooge catchers?  I refuse to believe that.

Now… that said, I’m still going to reserve judgement until the run is complete.  Maybe there is a reason behind everything and in the end, Starfire’s constant posing and general lack of clothing will serve some higher purpose and… well… Catwoman is still a whore… win some, lose some I guess.  All I want is for there to be a reason behind everything.  Don’t just give me skin.  I can find that anywhere on campus after 9pm most nights (and some mornings… WALK OF SHAME, BITCHES!).

For now, I will hold out hope that everything will pan out and therefore side with DC’s whole “Don’t read it if you don’t want to,” but my better judgement is preparing for the worst.

THAT SAID, check out the reboot.  Most of the titles are pretty sweet and all in all, I have enjoyed it.

That’s enough out of me for now… later kids!


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